For Only $19.99, You Too Can Be A Social Media Guru!

Order my audio presentation, "Become a Social Media Guru in 2 Minutes or Less," and you will know the ins and outs of all things social in no time!
Don't know how to DIGG without a shovel? Think a Tweet has something to do with a bird? Don't know what a Widget is?
My audio presentation, available on four cassette tapes or one compact disk, teaches you the entire social media lingo!
Not sure what a compact disk is? No problem! It's explained on the four cassette tapes!
Order within the next 20 minutes and you will receive Johnny Guru's book, 'A Guide to the Internet!' Free!
Just pay shipping and handling.But wait, there's more!
For only 16 payments of $14.99, my staff of social media digital gurus will outsource a professional social media designer to help start your very own Facebook Fan Page! We will also throw in a custom Facebook profile image for free!
If you don’t have the time to become a Social Media Guru, don’t worry! My Bullet-proof Social Media Strategy PowerPoint presentation will be available soon! Your company will be socializing in no time!
Become a Social Media Guru 2 Minutes or Less. Order today!
my new career! thank you, guru!
Hey there. I ordered and received the tapes just hours ago and I had no idea how much of an impact it would have in my life. I often sleep with them under my pillow and my kids lovingly now call me Osmosis Jonas Brothers!! I can’t wait for the next installment, when will it becoming out on blur-ray?
What if I don’t know how to play a cassete tape? Is there a video tutorial showing how to do that?
What about a 30 day money back guarantee?
@Adriana: No money back, ever. Sorry.
@Fhasta Pazool: I will not be releasing anything on blur-ray. Cassette tapes have been continually pushing the boundaries of technology. I will stick with them for now.
Adriana, there isn’t any video tapes with this offer. That’s coming soon. There’s a diagram in the book that shows you what a Cassette player is, where you can buy one (ebay only), and how to use it.
JC – and to think I thought that mean Jesus Christ!!! Clear you have missed the boat on blur ray. They come in these amazing circular devices that easily fit in a cargo pant pocket unlike a cassette tape that could be mistaken for a wallet thereby inviting theft. I suggest sir you read the crime statistics and see that you are part of the problem. I have a direct line to Mr. Bloomberg and will surely expose you for the fraud that you are. p.s. when can I put my order for season 4!?!?!
What about 8-Track!? Oh man oh man! >_< I'm so freaking excited! I'm going to be a guru!!!!!
I am Mr. Mittens
oink
awesome, everbody should have that!
hahahah
What the hell? I thought I was ordering Viagra, and I got these tapes instead! Why does the internet keep doing this to me? Is it because I changed my desktop picture?
@Julie: Sorry about that. Which desktop image did you change to? If your desktop image contains any animals or fish you may run into problems.
Don’t even want to say what I was thinking. But this is funny
I ordered your tapes and got them this morning. I was so excited when between the second and third tape I found 4 pennies! They are already making me rich. A+++
Excellent seller!! Package arrived quickly and as advertised. Would buy from again!! A++++++++++++++
Now you leave positive feedback for me?
Cassette tapes FTW O_O
Thank You. Thank You. I was so lost in this world of social networking. I mean, I’m computer savvy but this SEO stuff is so complicated!!! Tweeting? Facebooking? MySpacing? Who Can Keep Up!? Your program worked miracles for me and now I Twitter like a Rockstar!
Omg I almost cried, I finally can blend in with society, I was so scared!!!!
THANK YOU MEDIA GURU !!! THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY LIFE SO IMPROVED!!!!
WooHoo!
LOL. This must be the most hilarious thing found on the Internets for.. days!
Those “gurus” had it coming!
After receiving the tapes in the mail, I listened to all 4 of them. I think I’m getting this…
but I have a quick question…
I went to Best Buy and looked in the internet sections but couldn’t find a “Twitter”. However, the Geek Squad told me that if I hooked up a “facebook” to my computer that I could download a “Twitter” to it.
Do you think this is the best way to go about it?
@Beaker Ben: Thank you for your order. Unfortunately, we require an additional $299.99 per question.
Does it come with SEO and viral widgets?
When I listened to your lessons in reverse I hear the “Leave It To Beaver” second seazon. What gives?
@Steve: Yes, SEO is in fact included on the cassette tapes. Widgets are also included. Please place the first cassette tape into your computers CD-ROM drive in order to view them.
@Nancy: I believe you are mistaken. It was the first season. Enjoy!
Could inspire me into a new career move, cool site
deed
2 Minutes?!?!?! Come and check out my 1 Minute Social Media Guru Video – who has time for a TWO minute tape these days?
Is this one of those computered things? My neighbor says that the Book of Faces and the Twitser are like that, but my mayor and boss say I’m not allowed to swing that way.
Maybe someone can print out the Book of Faces and I can read it over the weekend?
Times are hard… What if I want to break my payments down into something more manageable – like 43 payments?
Damn this is excatly what i needed, i upgraded my stereo so i can play those futuristic magentic tape boxes!
These are great offers! Wow!
I think I’ll get them all!
This is hilarious..
I just made $2,000 in my very first transaction.
Thanks, Guru!
can’t wait to get the tapes!!
this is awesome!
Within 20 minutes of ordering these tapes, I was a new born internet millionaire.
lol, this site is hilarious! “latest stuff”on cassette tapes?!?
A nice touch would have been the use of comic sans.
I could not use your tapes but thank you for your video tutorial on VHS… Brilliant
Any chance for a 5′inch floppy release for my brand new commodore 64
@Krille Andersen: Yes, we will have the 5.25 floppy disk conversion ready in about 4 months. Stay tuned!
What if I don’t know how to play a cassete tape? Is there a video tutorial showing how to do that?
Do you have an affiliate programme – please forward your site as a template for me to edit in Microsoft Word ‘97… that would be like the best business opportunity in the world, like, ever…!
What’s a cassette? One of Mama Cass’ backing singers? There are four of them so I guess they could be. Hang on, she choked on a sandwich in the same apartment as Jimi Hendrix died. What’s the catch here?
Can I make money with digging? I already have my own shovel. How do I start?
Does this come with a free set of Ginsu knives?
At the retirement home I work at, nobody has any idea what these terms mean. Do you have bulk pricing and perhaps training on teaching people how to use 56k modems?
Excellent guide. I would recommend it to anyone wanting to work in Social media.
Do I put these tapes in my VCR?
The slot looked a lot bigger than one tape, so I tried stacking a few on each other, no workie workie.
1:30 minutes in, and the social stuff is already bringing in a s***load of Linden Dollars.
Great stuff.
WTF is this site. Has anyone actually paid any money for this? If so, you are STUPID.
With these tapes, I’ve created an online empire!
Bow before me, internet!
Thank you, thank you. Please email me how to get these on eight track.
I’d love an eight track version! What about vinyl? How come I wasn’t aware of multiple formats? I want my money back…
What about different versions? Is there a King James Version available?
This internets? I’m on spacebook and I love myface. I do. so, um, books are for colorin, not for readin.
Oh, George! You can barely stay in the lines when you color. Also, mushroom clouds aren’t green and purple. That’s Barney, remember?
My free gift, “A Guide to the Internet” was such a good read.
I was shocked to find out that some of the internet went as far back as B.C. (before computers) and all the way up to A.D. (after developers).
I am now a guru!
Thank you social medic. I can’t wait to become a guru.
Social Medic, I thought the commentary on the dot com Dark Ages was superb. What were people thinking anyway?
Well, I think the most compelling time was the plague of the googles.
Social Medic, ahh the Googonic Plague, how could I forget!
its better for me if i buy two?
I sent payment, where is my tapes?
Social Media Guru strikes again…
http://www.youtube.com/onsipvids#p/a/u/0/icw2u7RXvGc
This is not too funny for me. However, could I outsource you soon.
Nevermind, I just read the rest of it. So, NO outsource for you!
To be fair though, the tapes are quite good.
I’m leaving already…
GURU
Thank you,
One quick question: How much for a twitter?
Kev
@stan: Please pardon the delay. The carrier pigeon delivering your tapes suffered a major heart attack en route. We have sent a new set of tapes. They should arrive shortly.
@Kevin Groenendaal: Priceless, Kevin. Priceless.
I have been looking for a product like this for so long. I finally learned how to use the google website on the computer machine and it led me to you. Thank You so much you have changed my life.
Really it’s good article i’m suggest another one
Thanks
javierayala
Bummer, bought the twitter on ebay allready..
thanks for the quick response though!
Is it wrong that I have a burning desire to purchase this?
I knew cassettes were still hip, I am so glad I didn’t upgrade. Can’t wait for my order to arrive. Just in the nick of time too, I am wearing out my “learn slovakian in just three hours” tapes.
Hi there,
I ordered the tapes, but when I put them in my ghetto blaster there was only the sound of muffled sex noises playing on loop?
Is this all I need to know about Social Media?
I’ve been enjoying your product on my drive to work, but accidentally left my tapes in the back window of my car. Do you have a replacement policy?
This shit owns!
I have to ask: Are people seriously contacting you for the cassette tapes?
I’m working on the next generation of social media that’ll make cassettes seem like yesterday’s news: email me and I’ll send you an 8-track by post
Looks like a great program. Can’t wait for you to release it on Laserdisc!
Fantastic. This is a internet site.
Do you offer affiliate options? I want to sell your product from my site, what do I get?
Пиздец уебищьно!
oh boy
OMG! After reading Johnny’s bible my life totally changed. Everything was great at first, but then my widget went viral – should I see a doctor or will it clear up? I’m worried I have a social disease.
Still, it was still the best $19.99 I ever spent.
Beau
ive tried pressing the cassette to my ear but no sound comes out, but i did find if i hit myself repeatedly on the head with it eventually i pass out and stop caring! Good work!
yours,
d shcmitzenkak
@Mosk сам такой!
I ordered the tapes yesterday, had them rushed to my apartment and have already made a fortune! It’s a simple as listening to the tapes and unlocking your secret social networking potential! My rolodex business took off as soon as I posted it on FacePlace. Or is it MyBook? Crap, where are those cassettes?
my life is uniq
COMPUTER IS MY 2ND WIFE
Can I get some moving spinny things like that for my face…place thing? Better yet, can you google map me from my place of residence to the nearest photoshop? I hear they can make whatever you want. Thanks for making life easier for those of us who adore big, bright red words…they’re better on the ol’ eyes.
Times with underline and shadows! Wow! I think a Comic Sans would go great with it. Love the idea.
If only I knew about these social media things before, I wouldn’t have been so anti-social. No, I just need to find out where to buy my dreamweaver. The closest thing I could find at wal-mart was a notepad.
I was going to try this program, it could be very helpful to me. I’m 85 and I only have phonograph (it’s an RCA). I can also play 45’s. Is it possible that in the near future these records will be available? Thanks for making these possible, my grandson recommends it. He is a Powershipper on eBay with A++++, so he is very computer smart.
Love it! One of the most original blog posts I’ve seen in a while. The cheesyness in the design is very convincing
. Well done!
YESSAH, MASSTA!
Ok, for an internet-o-phobe like me, this come in REAL handy! Thanks!
Seriously… I could put my monitor down, get in a space rocket and read this site from the moon.
Thanks!
Too bad I have 8 track in my car, else I would surely buy it. Too advance for me. I never understood this modern technology.
digg, mixx, del.icio.us,… nobody knows how to spell on the internet?
I’m not really social person. Can I become guru anyway?
nice job!
Finally, I will be a social queen
2 minutes is little short, but with time, one can com to title Media Guru.
Cassette tapes? Really?
Mind. Blowing. Any plans for that new 8 track format I keep hearing about?
Two minutes of love!
thank u 4 changing my life!
Thank you soo much, i found the exactly same thing on limewire 0.1 alpha but it took like a year to download. Is this the same thing?
Also will you tell us howto
use google.
72 ave solved all my computing needs!
So glad I still have my old car to listen to the tapes. In 3 weeks I made $4000! Thanks!
brill site
This is what I need.
Tnx
This is fantastic!
I try a lot of stuff, i hope that works.
Do these tapes come with a copy of The Facebook?
Holy crap! those cassettes…
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